Strength as what I hate in others

I haven’t stoped my Tarot studies. I just have been working a lot - and just have gotten too lazy to type here. On the other hand, I’ve kept up at the other blog….

And speaking of the other blog - I wrote an entry on Anger. As I’ve said before, I’m doing the work in the Shadow Work book by Christine Jette. It so happens that Strength shows up in the Anger (4th pos.), which, according to Jette represents:

[...]What qualities in a person do I most dislike or have the most difficulty dealing with?[...] Anger is fear in disguise and you may feel yourself most uncomfortable with position four[...]

To be honest, when I started writing that entry I didn’t make the connection. Then as I wrote I started tying it to that spread.

It’s just that I’ve been feeling more aggressive and less and less patient - and that recently I had to control myself throughout a diner not to snap back at someone that was… slightly aggravating me.

And then it dawned on me that my reaction - and my belief about what I wanted to do, but would/will work on keeping myself from doing - perfectly represented what I personally disliked in others… Uncontrolled rage, ego, purely instinctual behavior without thoughts of the consequences.

Strength in Tarot, and in a way in life, is so many things to me. It isn’t necessarily physical. But it can be. I see strength as something that should be well used, and not repressed. Because after all, it can also come in the form of Lust… (yes, I sometimes show love to my Thoth deck).

Whether in my standard Victorian Romantic Tarot deck, or in other Rider Waite Smith and variations decks, I see the woman as working with the lion. I recently looked at my Original Rider Waite image and noted that the lion had its tail between his legs though. I’m still thinking of what that means to me.

I also see it as a sort of patience. She neither wants the lion to be scared/angry and snap her hand/arm away, nor wants to rush and potentially harm the lion. Because I see both as in a vulnerable position. But if they work well together… They could prove to be a dynamic duo!

In my own case, I’m currently trying to see how miss-expressions of Strength could show themselves in those I get frustrated or angry with. The most obvious is violence and aggressiveness. It also makes me think of arrogance, pushiness, pride - in its negative sense - , whether it may be based on a too positive image of oneself, or on the opposite. (I’ve personally met people who behaved in very arrogant and pushy ways, and who made me feel they had a serious need to do this because their self images must have been very ugly.)

I’m thinking I might post the full spread at some latter point, and post my insights as they come. I don’t know. And of course, in the case of this position, I wonder if I’m suppose to read that I dislike the positive of the card in others because the negative - or a repressed version of the positive - is what is in me.

I can’t lie. For the past weeks, I’ve had the spread on my table in my bedroom, and I’ve just been noting how I see each card manifest and/or how I see it with time.

I’ll also add that I do see my reaction (what I ended up saying) as the Emperor in the Denial (first) position. Still according to Jette, this position represents:

[...] negatives and positives people point out to me that I have trouble accepting [...] problems or conditions would you rather avoid [...]
[...] What talents and abilities are you hesitant to develop? What are you holding back? What compliments make you uncomfortable?[...]

As far as I’m concerned, I still don’t know what makes me exceptional at all (besides talking way too much and being much too candid - ahem), nor what particular qualities people note in me. They say I’m cute, does that count? The Emperor is something I may feel inside (my obsession with control for example) but I don’t see how it is me externally… I just keep seeing control control control. Or lack of - like when I get way too lazy for my own good.

Then again, that would be why it shows up as a Denial!

Hope anyone that reads this is well.

Links:

You can buy the book on Amazon.com

On Aeclectic Tarot: Bonnie Cehovet wrote a review of the Book

(and in case if you wonder: only the Major Arcana is used.)