Weird Reading: Weird dream last night

So I’m trying to figure this out. Reading for myself has so far meant taking a really cynical approach at any message: I hate reading good when that’s not what is implied. As such what I see here is:

A very nostalgic look at the past (kind of not willing to let go). The Ace here really gives me the feeling of “head in the clouds”, ultra-dreamy and romantic… Yet the Aces often speak of opportunities for me. This means an emotional opportunity. Due to the very watery beginning (5 & Ace of Cups), the predominant blue tones, there’s this idea that this is a feeling more than something rooted in reality. There are, after all, no Earth cards. The Ace is in conflict (Water vs. Fire, The Sun) with the Sun, a card which, in this reading, I interpret as a more concrete (albeit maybe simpler) joy. This is the “joy with the simple things” card for me. She looked a bit stoned to me today too, which is kind of odd. Maybe too stoned from her dreams…? (dreams can lead to illusions if taken more seriously than they should be). The Ace is stunted by the Sun here as far as I see… Sort of the facade I put up for others keeps the Ace from manifesting… Mhhh. I look too happy - too “I’m fine right now. I need nothing else.” - for anything else to be offered…

Thoughts to ponder on. I’ll try to see how I can be content yet allow for other things to come into my life simultaneously. Maybe, also, I need the time to move on (5 of Cups) from what isn’t to what could still be (in the larger sense)… I certainly want to move on! I want more fire in my life!

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